Archaeologists Uncover Living Guy By Mistake

BLUFF, UT—Apologizing profusely for disturbing the man they found in what they had previously believed to be a 2,000-year-old Anasazi burial site, a team of archaeologists from the University of Utah reportedly uncovered a living guy by mistake Friday. “Um, excuse me, someone’s down here,” said the newly unearthed Greg Fantoni, 37, who frantically grabbed handfuls of the dirt removed by archaeologists and tried to rebury himself in the pit where he had been found. “You don’t see me going around doing a big excavation of the place where you guys live and work, do you? So maybe you can pay me the same courtesy.” At press time, with the sun setting and the desert growing cold, sources confirmed the archaeologists had taken Fantoni up on his offer to spend the night with him beneath 5,000 pounds of soil and sediment.