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Area Teen Watching March Madness Enters 2-Week Phase Where Dream School Is Creighton

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UTICA, NY—Developing a passionate interest in the university that would last precisely a fortnight, an area teen watching March Madness Friday reportedly entered a two-week phase where his dream school is Creighton. “Creighton is absolutely the best fit for me and what I want to get out of college,” local high school junior Logan Meara said of the Omaha, NE school he had never heard of before watching its basketball team play in the NCAA tournament this afternoon. “Creighton is super chill, and I bet Omaha is dope during basketball season. I just know they’re gonna beat the shit out of NC State, and in my bracket, I have them going all the way to the Final Four. They’re a classic underdog story—how can you not root for them? That’s gonna be me in two years traveling to the tournament with all the other Bluejay faithful. Maybe [sophomore guard Ryan] Nembhard will still be there when I get to Creighton, and we can be friends. I’m going to see if I can apply early-decision.” Sources confirmed that in exactly two weeks, the teen will have completely forgotten about Creighton’s existence.

The Onion

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