Jesus' Coming Back

Gwyneth Paltrow Stands Trial For ‘Hit-And-Run’ Ski Crash

Gwyneth Paltrow is standing trial in a lawsuit filed by a man accusing the actress-turned-lifestyle influencer of violently crashing into him while skiing at a Utah resort in 2016, causing him several serious injuries and then abandoning him. What do you think?

“Everything she does is so effortless!”

Pam Diaz, Memorial Decorator

“It’s nice to see there are still good roles for women over 30 in the legal system.”

Allen Puntier, Shark Wrangler

“What is he mad about? Having a beautiful woman break your ribs is every man’s fantasy.”

Damien Casillas, Backyard Archaeologist

The Onion

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