Realtor Trying To Pass Off Apartment’s Window Box Planter As Something Called ‘Romanian Balcony’

CHICAGO—Extolling the virtues of the cracked polyethylene container, local real estate agent Thomas Bartlett was reportedly trying to pass off an apartment’s window box planter Thursday as something called a “Romanian balcony.” “Now this feature is a real treat—simply open up the window, and voilà, you have your own Romanian balcony,” said Bartlett, who promised the couple touring the apartment that all their friends and family members would be jealous of the fully functioning, old-world vintage architectural feature, which currently contained a crushed, empty Monster energy drink can. “Plus, the big hole in the screen allows for fresh, unfettered air to enter the apartment—ingenious, right? I’d kill for one of these. It’s practically a whole other room. Squeeze a bistro set onto this thing, and you’re basically looking at the best summer ever.” At press time, Bartlett had dismissed an enormous reddish brown insect scuttling over the kitchen sink as the harmless Bucharest bug.