Man Clearly Just Waiting For His Turn To Speak Rather Than Really Listening To Automated Menu

RALEIGH, NC—Multitasking with the phone on speaker, local man Tim Cahan was clearly just waiting for his turn to speak Wednesday rather than really listening to what the automated menu had to say. Sources confirmed that, despite the menu selections having changed since their last conversation, Cahan barely paid attention to what the female robot voice was saying, as if he’d heard it all before or—worse yet—didn’t care. Several reports indicated that Cahan was singularly focused on delivering a monologue to the account services department, that he swore at and mumbled over the automated voice system as if he were the only one on the call who deserved to be heard, and that he went so far as to openly flush the toilet while she was talking. According to sources, Cahan became frustrated enough at one point to interrupt the female robot voice by mashing his index finger repeatedly onto the pound key, and then had the gall to become angry when he was returned to the start of the menu, despite the automated system havung calmly informing him several times that was exactly what would happen—something he would have known had he just taken a moment to hear her out. At press time, the automated system’s girlfriends had reportedly encouraged her to just hang up on the man and ignore his future calls.