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Vlogger Eats Raw Cow Intestines On YouTube In Hopes Of Giving His Children Better Life

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SAN BERNARDINO, CA—In a video in which it is unclear whether the tears running down his face are from the taste of entrails or his love for his family, local vlogger Mike Correa was seen eating raw cow intestines on YouTube this week in the hopes of give his children a better life. “Hey guys, I got some really nasty, totally uncooked cow guts from a slaughterhouse today, and I’m going to see if I can eat them all in under 10 minutes!” said Correa, his chin streaked with mucosal drippings from the bovine organs as he reportedly thought about his young son and daughter and how he wanted to provide them with the kinds of opportunities he never had. “Now, these intestines haven’t even been emptied, so in addition to [putting two kids through school by] tasting bloody animal viscera, I’ll also be tasting this cow’s partially digested final meal. Ugh, I’m having a bit of trouble keeping it all down, but [to ensure no child of mine ever has to become a YouTuber] I’m going in for another bite!” In a second video posted at press time, an E. coli–sickened Correa was seen dying of sepsis and reminding his viewers to like, subscribe, and tell his children he loved them.

The Onion

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