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Girlfriend Suspicious Boyfriend Cheating After Finding Another Woman’s Head

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ALPHARETTA, GA—Feeling absolutely livid over the blood-stained discovery, 26-year-old Katy Ellis was reportedly suspicious that boyfriend Tyler Veith was cheating on her Friday after finding another woman’s head in their apartment. “Now who the hell does this belong to?” said Ellis, who bent down to pick up the stray head she had spotted on the floor by the bed, grabbing it by the hair and dangling it in the air, all while glaring accusingly at Veith. “I know it’s not mine, so who is she? Is this why you didn’t come home last night? Because you were out beheading some bitch? Don’t tell me you don’t know how it got here. You promised me this wouldn’t happen again, you fucking liar! I hope you have a good alibi for this one.” At press time, sources confirmed Ellis had calmed but was still relatively suspicious after Veith assured her the head belonged to a coworker who was just a friend.

The Onion

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