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Quiz: Could You Pass A Police Officer Entrance Exam?

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Take this practice test to see if you have the guts, courage, and ruthlessness to pass a police officer entrance exam.

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Q: What is your core duty as a police officer?

Q: What is your core duty as a police officer?

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A: Drive fast fast car vroom vroom bang bang!

A: Drive fast fast car vroom vroom bang bang!

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Q: Are you an emotional infant who feels the need to exert your will on others by force to make up for the fact that you yourself feel powerless?

Q: Are you an emotional infant who feels the need to exert your will on others by force to make up for the fact that you yourself feel powerless?

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A: Yes.

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Q: What is the primary goal of the police?

Q: What is the primary goal of the police?

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A: To protect and serve the police.

A: To protect and serve the police.

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Q: What amount of marijuana is the legal limit for possession?

Q: What amount of marijuana is the legal limit for possession?

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A: Depends on the race of the culprit.

A: Depends on the race of the culprit.

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Q: Which one of these is a gun if someone is pointing it at you?

Q: Which one of these is a gun if someone is pointing it at you?

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A: All of the above.

A: All of the above.

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Q: How many bullets can one body hold?

Q: How many bullets can one body hold?

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A: As many as you can fire at it.

A: As many as you can fire at it.

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Q: What is a lethal quantity of fentanyl?

Q: What is a lethal quantity of fentanyl?

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A: Phew. Glad you made it through that question. 85% of police exam takers actually die just from reading the word “fentanyl.”

A: Phew. Glad you made it through that question. 85% of police exam takers actually die just from reading the word “fentanyl.”

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Q: Rape kits go where?

Q: Rape kits go where?

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A: Through the miniature basketball hoop hung up over the trash can.

A: Through the miniature basketball hoop hung up over the trash can.

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Q: What is the purpose of the law?

Q: What is the purpose of the law?

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A: To provide legal cover for shooting unarmed civilians.

A: To provide legal cover for shooting unarmed civilians.

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Q: How do you best enforce a restraining order?

Q: How do you best enforce a restraining order?

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A: Ignore the crazy woman until three weeks later when she turns up dead.

A: Ignore the crazy woman until three weeks later when she turns up dead.

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Q: Are you allowed enter into sexual relations with members of the K-9 unit?

Q: Are you allowed enter into sexual relations with members of the K-9 unit?

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A: Only while off duty.

A: Only while off duty.

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Q: What would you do if you encountered one of the following groups?

Q: What would you do if you encountered one of the following groups?

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A: Ask about membership opportunities.

A: Ask about membership opportunities.

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Q: Solve for x: (17x/4)^3=264

Q: Solve for x: (17x/4)^3=264

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A: Trick question. Your job is to shoot people, not do math.

A: Trick question. Your job is to shoot people, not do math.

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Q: Complete the following sentence: Hat goes on…

Q: Complete the following sentence: Hat goes on…

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A: Head, unless you’re already wearing a hat—then hat can go on table.

A: Head, unless you’re already wearing a hat—then hat can go on table.

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Q: Name 20 nonviolent actions that you can claim are assault against an officer.

Q: Name 20 nonviolent actions that you can claim are assault against an officer.

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A: Getting looked at funny, a brown person jaywalking, a lady rejecting your advances, a man rejecting your advances, a child rejecting your advances, a restaurant owner refusing to comp your meal, someone tweets something mean about the police, Black person driving a car that’s too nice, Black person driving a car that’s too shitty, Black person driving a car, fellow police officer being a narc, homeless person existing, someone begging for their life, someone filming you, someone asking for your help, wife being a bitch, person correctly saying you planted drugs on them, Black child riding bike, someone wearing pride flag, minority being over age of 10, minority being under age of 10.

A: Getting looked at funny, a brown person jaywalking, a lady rejecting your advances, a man rejecting your advances, a child rejecting your advances, a restaurant owner refusing to comp your meal, someone tweets something mean about the police, Black person driving a car that’s too nice, Black person driving a car that’s too shitty, Black person driving a car, fellow police officer being a narc, homeless person existing, someone begging for their life, someone filming you, someone asking for your help, wife being a bitch, person correctly saying you planted drugs on them, Black child riding bike, someone wearing pride flag, minority being over age of 10, minority being under age of 10.

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Q: Which forms of sexual harassment can you expect to get away with?

Q: Which forms of sexual harassment can you expect to get away with?

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A: The answer is D: all of the above.

A: The answer is D: all of the above.

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Q: What is the law?

Q: What is the law?

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A: I am the law.

A: I am the law.

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Q: What is the greatest movie of all time?

Q: What is the greatest movie of all time?

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A: Bad Boys II, baby!!

A: Bad Boys II, baby!!

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Q: What is the policeman’s oath?

Q: What is the policeman’s oath?

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A: Haroo-harumph / The day is done / We tased some kids / We had some fun / The siren sounds / Our patrol ends / But soon we rise / And police again!

A: Haroo-harumph / The day is done / We tased some kids / We had some fun / The siren sounds / Our patrol ends / But soon we rise / And police again!

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Q: Do you have any interest in changing the system from the inside out?

Q: Do you have any interest in changing the system from the inside out?

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A: At first I did, but then I saw how futile it was, and discovered it was much easier to sit back and help prop up white supremacy for my own personal gain.

A: At first I did, but then I saw how futile it was, and discovered it was much easier to sit back and help prop up white supremacy for my own personal gain.

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Q: The siren goes _______.

Q: The siren goes _______.

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A: Reeeeeeeaoooooooo Reeeeeeeeaoooo. We would also accept woowoowoowoo.

A: Reeeeeeeaoooooooo Reeeeeeeeaoooo. We would also accept woowoowoowoo.

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Q: How would you deescalate this situation?

Q: How would you deescalate this situation?

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A: Shoot him. Shoot to kill.

A: Shoot him. Shoot to kill.

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You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…

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