Defeated Paul Vallas Announces Plan To Open New Charter Chicago

CHICAGO—Moments after conceding to his opponent Brandon Johnson in Tuesday’s mayoral runoff, defeated candidate Paul Vallas announced his plan to open a new charter Chicago. “Established with a generous donation from an anonymous philanthropist, the Global Leadership City will give Chicagoans an option they’ve long lacked by providing them with city choice,” Vallas said in his announcement of the 234-square-mile tech- and science-themed Midwestern charter metropolis, which he described as a “market-based solution to the problem of urban living.” “What the recent elections have shown is that Chicago is a city stuck in the past. But the Global Leadership City is committed to innovative answers that ensure its residents have the flexibility to meet the 21st century’s problems head-on.” At press time, Vallas added that he had already seen the unisex city uniform, and found it both respectful and very stylish.