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Couple Struggling To Conceive Considers Trying Sexual Intercourse

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NEW YORK—Saying they had struggled for years with infertility and were open to any new approach that might help them conceive, local married couple Nina and Joe Klasfeld told reporters Monday they were considering sexual intercourse. “It would be a last resort, obviously, but since we’ve had so much trouble getting pregnant, we’re seriously thinking about having sex,” said Nina Klasfeld, who added that while sex seemed like a long shot, she and her husband had already tried fertility drugs, hormone treatments, and using an ovulation calendar to time their kissing, all to no avail. “Maybe it’s a coincidence, but a lot of my friends seem to get pregnant after they start having sex. On the one hand, I’m skeptical, because sexual intercourse just sounds like it’s some kind of weird, old-fashioned folk remedy for infertility. But on the other hand, what do we have to lose at this point? We really want a baby.” At press time, the Klasfelds confirmed the pregnancy tests were still coming back negative even though they were having so much sex they had worked their way through a 36-pack of Trojans.

The Onion

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