CHICAGO—Mindlessly shoveling the dry meat into his mouth while staring at the television, local dad Ron Guadiano was reportedly snacking on a bowl of ground beef Monday. Family sources confirmed that Guadiano had retrieved from the refrigerator a dish filled with a pound of leftover ground beef and, with no attempt to use it as an ingredient within a larger dish, ate it straight from the container while sitting on the couch. According to witnesses, the 54-year-old father appeared to munch contentedly on the minced beef, pausing every now and then to turn to a family member and ask, “You want any?” while holding up a spoonful of his bland midday snack. At press time, sources confirmed that Guadiano had finished his bowl of ground beef and announced he was going to take a quick nap before dinner.
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