JERSEY CITY, NJ—Urging employees to refrain from touching any of the items that had been neatly arranged in the wicker basket, local company Green Innovation clarified to employees Wednesday that the feminine hygiene products located in the office bathroom were purely decorative. “Please note that all pads and tampons currently located in the women’s bathroom are for display purposes only and are never to be touched, rearranged, or used,” said an email from the company’s human resources department, adding that employees had routinely been spotted disrespecting the company’s wishes by taking parts of the display into stalls. “While we thought it was obvious, employees seem to have had a problem understanding that anything traditionally used to address menstrual symptoms was provided solely for optics. Until employees can learn to value our company’s aesthetics, all products will be removed from the bathrooms indefinitely.” At press time, the company had also removed soap, paper towels, and toilet paper until employees learned they were also part of a bathroom-wide conceptual art installation.
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