ST, JOSEPH, MI—Sighing as he opened the bumpy envelope, local boy Finn Gleason, nephew of Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, reportedly received another birthday card from his uncle Thursday that was filled with gravel. “‘Don’t sprinkle it all in one place! Love, Uncle Pete,’” the 9-year-old read aloud, brushing the handful of small stones and silt off of his lap onto the floor, which his uncle had tucked inside as a gift, as he did every year. “It’s nice that he always remembers to send a card, but I wish he’d give a little more thought to my gift than simply pulling some gravel out of his pocket and slapping it in a generic Hallmark greeting card. I hope that doesn’t make me sound spoiled, it’s just that I already have enough from last year, as well as Easter, Christmas, and my Communion, to have filled in the driveway and still have some left over. I suppose I could start a savings pile in case someday I want to lay a whole backroad myself, but that sounds boring. Plus, I bet he gets it for free from his job.” Gleason went on to admit that the gravel was still way better than the year Buttigieg sent a 55-gallon barrel of coal tar asphalt.
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