Take this practice test to see if you have the extraordinary knowledge, intelligence, and intolerance needed to pass a history class in Gov. Ron DeSantis’ Florida.
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Q: What was the Civil War fought over?
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A: The North attempting to turn the South trans.
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Q: What does the term “segregation” mean?
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A: Doing what’s right in the face of adversity.
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Q: What are the two sexes?
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A: Male and alpha male.
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Q: Who was the first woman to serve on the Supreme Court?
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A: Sandra Day O’Connor, though there’s no way to be sure as no one ever checked her genitals.
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Q: What event triggered the Great Depression?
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A: Barack Obama’s first inaugural address.
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Q: What was the Underground Railroad?
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A: A miniseries on Amazon Prime.
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Q: From what legal institution did Harriet Tubman free hundreds of men and women?
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A: Labor unions.
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Q: How does it feel to have your education and future exploited in order to juice the presidential aspirations of an ideologue?
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A: Honestly, not great.
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Q: How many justices are on the Supreme Court?
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A: Five cucks and four minority hires.
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Q: How would you define the word “reparations”?
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A: Black people not being grateful for all the good stuff slave owners did for them.
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Q: Complete the following sentence: The ___ control the media.
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A: Acceptable answers include: Jews, Soros family, Jewish cabal, “You know whats.”
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Please momentarily pause the test for a mass shooting. If you survive, you’ll be allowed to continue.
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Q: African Americans?
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A: NOOOOOO!
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Q: What is the state bird of Florida?
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A: The heterosexual wren.
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Q: Why was Florida founded?
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A: It was originally incorporated by elderly settlers tied to horses who were sent away by their families.
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Q: What is the population of Florida?
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A: 21 million and three-fifths.
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Q: Name five reasons the Little Mermaid on the left is superior.
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A: (1) Easier to jerk off to. (2) Made by antisemite. (3) Dad said so. (4) Enjoy offensive Jamaican crab friend. (5) Children she has with Eric will not be biracial.
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Q: Ronald Reagan?
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A: Good boy, happy good nice boy! Love good boy yes Ronald Reagan yes yes yes good lovely boy!
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Q: Who was the 45th president of the United States?
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A: Look, I’m not going to get in the mud with any potential opponent about a will-they-or-won’t-they gotcha question. The mainstream media wants to distract from the real issues: Our cities are on fire, crime is rampant, and out-of-touch liberals are forcing an agenda down our throats at school. Enough is enough. Let’s make a government that works for us rather than just the coastal elites.
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Q: Isn’t it crazy and a national disgrace what these wokists are doing to our country? Seriously, can we not even form a nuclear family anymore without some pinko college professor trying to do race science on children?
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A: I agree.
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Q: What was the Reconstruction era?
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A: The reason why certain people shouldn’t be complaining anymore.
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Q: What was the deadliest conflict in American history?
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A: The War on Christmas (2004 to present)
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Q: Name four U.S. presidents who got married at Disney World.
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A: Ron DeSantis, Goofy, Lyndon B. Johnson, and Robert E. Lee.
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