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Jimmy Carter Gets Vasectomy Reversed

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PLAINS, GA—Remarking that his decision to undergo the initial procedure had perhaps been made in haste, former President Jimmy Carter, 98, announced Tuesday that he had gotten his recent vasectomy reversed. “I regret closing that door as early as I did, and I realized, yeah, I do want to be a dad again someday,” said the 39th president of the United States, waving to the press and local well-wishers as he entered an outpatient surgery center, which he was seen exiting four hours later, all smiles, with an ice pack held to his crotch. “I wonder how many kids I’ll go on to have! That’s probably a long way down the line, though, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Guess I’ll have to pick up a pack of condoms on the way home.” Reached for additional comment, Carter clarified that he did not intend to father a child until his divorce was finalized and he had met someone he wanted to settle down and start a family with.

The Onion

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