Biden Speeds Away In Truck After Dropping Dianne Feinstein Off In Empty Field

FLOYD, VA—Unlatching the tailgate and shooing the senior California senator out of the truck bed, President Joe Biden reportedly sped away in his pickup Thursday after dropping Dianne Feinstein off in an empty field. “You stay right there, girl—Joey’s coming back for you, I swear,” said Biden, who put his hands on the 89-year-old lawmaker’s shoulders, spun her around in a circle three times, and gave her a shove before slowly backing away toward the open door of his idling truck. “You’re the mayor of corn now, you hear me? This is your brand new office. Real nice, huh? Plenty of space to legislate. That tree over there is your constituent. Now you go see what it wants.” At press time, sources confirmed Biden had accidentally run over Feinstein after she started chasing his truck.