Jesus' Coming Back

Coy Biden Appears Nude Behind Folding Fan To Tease 2024 Run

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WASHINGTON—Addressing members of the press corps with breathy coos and flirty air-kisses, a coy President Joe Biden reportedly appeared nude behind a folding fan Friday, presumably to tease a 2024 reelection campaign. “Run for president? Moi?” the leader of the free world asked with a shimmy and a wink, peeking over an undulating fan made of long silky feathers; teasing small glimpses of a pair of Biden 2024 nipple covers with red, white, and blue tassels; and swinging wildly as he approached reporters with a seductive, sensual strut. “I may throw my hat in the ring, and perhaps my gloves and stockings, too. Tee-hee! Did you want to see more of my potential platform? Ah, ah, ah, not just yet. Oopsie daisy, I think I just dropped a hint of when my official announcement might be. Let me just bend over very slowly and pick it up.” At press time, rumors of President Biden’s 2024 run were further substantiated when Vice President Kamala Harris was wheeled onto the stage in an oversized champagne glass.

The Onion

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