Jesus' Coming Back

Mark Cuban Rejects ‘Shark Tank’ Pitch To Make Mavericks Good

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CULVER CITY, CA—Interrupting the entrepreneur just as he started to outline his concept, Shark Tank judge Mark Cuban rejected a pitch Friday to make the Dallas Mavericks good. “I just don’t see it,” said the billionaire sports owner, telling the young contestant who pitched the TV program’s “sharks” on a detailed plan to rebuild the 38-44 Mavericks squad by focusing on Luka Doncic, jettisoning older veterans, and concentrating on defense that his plan was flawed from the start. “Look, you’re young, and you’re hungry, but there’s just no way to make the Mavericks into a top-tier NBA franchise. I know you want that handshake deal, but how am I supposed to invest in a proposal with such a lackluster concept? Frankly, I don’t see the real-world potential profitability for a good Dallas Mavericks team. I didn’t get where I am today by making such ill-advised financial decisions.” While the entrepreneur’s pitch was unfavorably received by Cuban, fellow Shark Tank judges Barbara Corcoran and Robert Herjavec reportedly agreed to invest.

The Onion

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