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We’ve all seen it. All of us, in some way, have had our lives touched by it. Amazon addiction. It’s spreading like wildfire through marriages and families, destroying all bank accounts in its path. If your wife has an Amazon addiction, it’s not too late to save her. There is help available. The first step in treating Amazon addiction is knowing the signs.
The Babylon Bee has compiled this important list of 10 warning signs.
- She tried to claim your Amazon driver as a dependent on her taxes: If the IRS is ok with you listing your Amazon driver as a dependent, there may be an issue.
- Your dog doesn’t bark at the delivery driver anymore: He barks at your poor old 90-year-old neighbor Wanda, but he’s totally cool with the dude dropping off packages?
- She suggests naming your next child “Amazon”: It has a nice ring to it, sure, but is there something deeper going on here?
- Your paycheck just gets direct deposited to Jeff Bezos: Yes, it does cut out the middleman, but it’s definitely a big red flag.
- Jeff Bezos named his 6th yacht after her: Troubling.
- All your friends order stuff from your wife instead of from Amazon: “Out of stock on Amazon? No worries, I’ll just put in an order with Jenna!”
- Your wife starts twitching whenever a delivery is delayed: Withdrawals are no joke for an addict.
- Amazon drivers keep clocking in at your house by accident: An understandable mistake.
- You have to move 19 boxes out of the way before climbing into bed every night: Enough boxes to build forts in every room in your house? Your wife might have a problem.
- Your 2-year-old looks a lot like your Amazon driver: Oh no.
Don’t let your wife suffer in the despair of Amazon addiction. Reach out for help today.
NOT SATIRE: Are you tired of Progressive Corporate America pushing policies that further divide Americans while eroding the future of the American dream? It’s prominent all over the country – Progressive corporations pressuring their employees to conform to woke DEI policies, banks canceling customers, users being deplatformed by Big Tech, or gender ideology being forced on you while trying to enjoy a beer. What are your purchases actually funding?
Thankfully, with the PublicSq. marketplace, you don’t have to fund these companies any longer with your hard-earned dollars. PublicSq. is an app and website where you can get connected to tens of thousands of businesses from all different industries that share your value for life, family, and freedom. The best part of all, this marketplace is FREE to join for consumers and business owners alike!
14-year-old Amy knows what she wants in life: a permanent neck tattoo.
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Babylon Bee
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