Jesus' Coming Back

Driver causing 15 minute traffic delay by parking in middle of road put flashers on so it’s totally fine

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– Drivers stuck behind a car that inexplicably stopped in the middle of the on a street with only 1 lane in each direction were about to be very mad until they saw that the offending car had its flashers on so it could do whatever it wanted.

“I was fantasizing about throwing my coffee on his window as punishment for making me late for ,” said Mawaan Fareedi. “But then I saw the driver had put his hazard lights on! Boy did I feel embarrassed for thinking he had done anything wrong.”

“Everyone knows hitting that little double triangle button is basically a magical act that means the rules of the road no longer apply to you.”

The in question was seen not even slightly pulled over and with no driver in sight for nearly half an hour. But as the driver had activated the flasher superpower there was little to be done.

“I mean I’d write him a ticket but the law clearly states that flasher = legal,” said Parking Officer Lyle Conway. “Besides there are flashers. I’d hate to give a ticket when the driver is clearly experiencing an emergency.”

At press time the driver had emerged from a nearby Starbucks, threw his non-recyclable coffee cup into the recycling, muttered ‘parking around here’ with a half-apologetic shrug, got into his car and driven away

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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