Annoying Houseguest Won’t Stop Frolicking Fully Nude Through Man’s Imagination

BOSTON—Making himself a little too at home in his host’s mind, annoying houseguest Mike Rubager wouldn’t stop frolicking through local man Nathan Reed’s imagination, sources reported Friday. “I’m happy to let him stay with me, obviously, but the amount of time he spends traipsing around completely naked in my head is getting to be a bit much,” said Reed, complaining that the houseguest apparently had no qualms about letting it all hang out in everyone’s daydreams. “Sure, it was kind of funny the first time I accidentally pictured his penis dangling freely between his bare thighs, but now it seems like all he does is whip his junk out over and over again in my thoughts. I honestly wouldn’t have agreed to let him stay if I knew that he would be walking around bare-ass in my fantasies the entire time.” At press time, Reed was reportedly mortified after his neighbors asked him to close his blinds so they wouldn’t have to conjure up images of his houseguest’s exposed genitals.