Jesus' Coming Back

Inflatable Scabby The Rat Keeps Trying To Give Striking Hollywood Writers Copy Of His Screenplay

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LOS ANGELES—Taking short breaks from standing imposingly behind a Writers Guild of America picket line, Scabby the Rat kept quietly trying to give striking Hollywood writers a copy of his screenplay, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Uh, this is super embarrassing, and I really hate to do this, but if you’ve got a few minutes, I’d be honored if you could give this a read,” said the 10-foot-tall inflatable rodent, who repeatedly emphasized to striking writers that there was “absolutely no pressure” to read his 130-page script titled Picking At Scabs, but that he would really appreciate it if they did. “Look, I know you guys are striking, but I’ve dreamed of making this movie ever since I moved to Los Angeles and started working as an enormous scab-covered rat who intimidates strikebreakers. Anyway, even if you need an assistant or something, just let me know, and I’ll be there. This industry is all about connections.” At press time, Scabby was forced to retire after he reportedly got in contact with a studio executive and agreed to punch up a few unfinished television scripts on the down-low.

The Onion

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