Our effeminate culture keeps trying to push men to talk about their feelings and go to something lame-sounding called “therapy”. While this might work for today’s beta male, old-school, 100% genuine REAL men have better ways of overcoming challenges in their lives.
Here are 9 much more effective methods to dealing with your problems than lame ol’ sissy therapy.
- Take a few whacks at the batting cages: Recent studies have shown swinging for the fences is more therapeutic than talking about your feelings.
- Play a 7-hour game of Axis & Allies with the fellas: Push the pain deep down inside and make the blitz toward Moscow.
- Sip a beer and watch a sunset while commenting on the foliage: “Them junipers are comin’ in niiice and green, eh, Lenny?”
- Stuff it all down in a dark little ball inside: The tried-and-true therapy of our ancestors.
- Pick up something heavy: Repeat a bunch of times. Grunt. Sweat. Then pick up more heavy things.
- Go on a quick trip to the gun range: As you sight in your rifle on the bullseye, you’ll really be sighting in on your heart.
- Demolish a countertop: It’s time for a “demo day” – of your problems.
- Buy a social media company and then launch the largest rocket of all time into space: Soothe the inner voices, whatever it takes.
- Look up at a passing helicopter: It really makes everything OK.
We hope this helps you go another week without all that “talking about your feelings” nonsense – see you at the gun range, golf course, or on the barbells.
Use these foolproof ways to defend yourself even when you don’t have a gun.
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Babylon Bee
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