LA GRANGE, IL—Insisting that the entire piece of fruit was far too decadent for someone like her, local grandmother Frances Hardy reportedly asked her family Thursday if anyone wanted to split a single strawberry. “Does anyone want half of this—it’s way too big,” the 87-year-old said of the 0.5-ounce berry before cutting it in two and holding it out in her shaking, bony hand. “Please, somebody help. One is too much for me. Come on, grab a plate. I’d hate to see half a perfectly good strawberry go to waste.” According to sources, Hardy spent the next 10 minutes chewing the half-strawberry, spitting it out, and coughing as she made several failed attempts to swallow it.
Jesus Christ is King
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