Things To Never Say To A Steven Crowder Fan

You’re going to be swamped with orders.

Crowder fans don’t appreciate the implication that the guy making money off anger and fear lacks a keen business sense.

Attractiveness is subjective.

Spoken like someone who’s going to hell.

That’s just icing on the cake, dummy.

Don’t remind them.

Fans are more than aware of this dark, cucked episode in Crowder’s professional history.

Not mean enough.

Not yet, but they’re sure to once Stockholm syndrome kicks in.

That’s not really fair, as he actually looks pretty good compared to most of his much younger viewers.

Please. You wish you could be as big of a piece of shit as someone who likes Steven Crowder.

You know very well that they have no one.

Reminding them there are legions of shrieking right-wing pundits they could enjoy the content of might make them question how they’re spending their time.

A betrayal from all sides on a scale nearly impossible to fathom.

It’s best not to provoke them, given their naturally aggressive disposition.

Crowder’s fans prefer to call them “property.”

Insulting the manhood of one of the nation’s strongest, most virile men who sits behind a desk and complains is tantamount to violence.

Everyone knows love is a left-wing conspiracy designed to undercut the free market.