Nation’s Gyms Not Sure Where People Got Idea They Allowed To Be Naked In Locker Rooms

WASHINGTON—Asserting that they had never indicated that such behavior was remotely acceptable, the nation’s gyms released a joint statement Thursday announcing that they weren’t sure where people got the idea they were allowed to be naked in locker rooms. “We don’t know why anyone would believe it’s appropriate to remove their clothing in front of strangers just because they’re at a gym, but we’re asking you to please stop doing it,” read the statement in part, echoing the sentiments of gym owners across the country in noting that they had never once put up a sign in locker rooms stating that it was permissible—let alone legal— for patrons to take off all of their clothing in such spaces. “Don’t any of you feel like there’s something wrong when you’re waltzing around in front of other gym members, all sweaty and fully exposed? This is a place of business, for God’s sake. Would you go into a hardware store naked? No, of course not. It isn’t normal behavior. Frankly, anyone who thinks this is okay is sick.” The statement added that gym owners would have told Americans to cut it out decades ago, but they felt too awkward to bring it up while they were stark naked.