Sixth Guy Kicking Himself For Leaving The Company Before Five Guys Hit It Big

ALEXANDRIA, VA — With the burger chain Five Guys growing to include more than 1,700 locations, a sixth guy is currently kicking himself for choosing to leave the business in its early stages.

“I can’t believe I didn’t stick around,” said Mark Calloway, a close friend of the Murrell family that started the restaurant chain back in 1986. “I was there at the beginning, helping them try out burger recipes, perfecting the seasoning for the fries, urging them to feature incredibly expensive milkshakes. I helped them plan everything!”

Other life issues led Calloway to leave the business shortly before its official launch. “We were just getting ready to open the very first Six Guys location,” he explained. “Life got in the way, I had some other business opportunities, and I made the decision to step away. Right after I left, it blew up! I could’ve been a millionaire! I’m such an idiot!”

Though he blew his chance at being a burger mogul, Calloway tries to stay positive. “I’ve been a part of some other really exciting things that never really took off,” he said. “I thought the ‘make your own sushi’ bar would be a hit, but too many people died right at the beginning. I’m actually really happy for Five Guys’ success. I really am.”

At publishing time, Calloway had started planning to open a rival Sixth Guy Burgers restaurant, where a small order of french fries will fill eight brown paper bags and milkshakes will only cost $20 each.

This little girl was just looking at clothes and Barbies — but Bullseye the Target Dog had other plans for her.

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Babylon Bee