Jesus' Coming Back

Wife Promises Husband She’ll Be ‘In The Mood’ If He Massages Her Back For 3.5 Hours

NASHVILLE, TN — A local woman has assured her husband she’ll definitely be “in the mood” if he rubs her back for at least three hours.

“It’s been a long day and changing gears is tough,” Katelyn Pinegar explained to her husband. “I might be more willing to…you know…if you’d give me a quick 3 to 4-hour back rub.”

David Pinegar agreed to the massage under the assumption it would lead to…other things.

“She’s so tired after a long day with the kids but sometimes I feel like she’s putting things off a little. I don’t know where I get that idea,” David said three hours into the massage.

Katelyn promised David she’d definitely be in the mood if they could watch one, maybe two episodes of Friends while he rubbed her back. “Oh, no! How’d it get to be 11 o’clock? Tomorrow night, sweetheart, for sure. I just need to look at my phone for a few minutes before we go to sleep.”

Things were put off again the following night after David developed carpal tunnel syndrome three hours into the back rub and Katelyn fell asleep.


Nothing weird, just a bunch of bros hanging out drinking Bud Light and talking about their feelings. Just chilling. Not gay.


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Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King

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