LOS ANGELES, CA — A local man realized he’s been singing the 1999 hit song “All Star” by Smash Mouth in his head since the song’s release 24 years ago.
“SomeBODY once told me,” Lance Branson sang in his head as he drove to work Thursday morning. “The world was gonna roll me. I-um-doo doo doo-tool in the she-eed.”
Branson claims he first heard the song on the radio when he was a freshman in college over two decades ago and the tune burrowed itself so deep into his frontal lobe it’s just never left.
“Everywhere I go, I hear that song,” Branson said. “The funny thing is, whenever I start singing it I get an overwhelming urge to go buy an oversized bowling shirt and get frosted tips in my hair. Also, did you know alllll that gliiiiiiterrrs is go-AH-old?”
After a reporter asked him if he thinks he’s listened to the song a few too many times, Branson became defensive, saying: “Hey now.”
Smash Mouth refused to comment on the situation, stating they’re too busy working on a new chart-topper definitely coming out sometime in the next three decades.
Nothing weird, just a bunch of bros hanging out drinking Bud Light and talking about their feelings. Just chilling. Not gay.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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