SEATTLE—Blaring Camille Saint-Saëns’ “Danse Macabre” from a battered old boombox, local necromancer Edgar Ravenswood reportedly spent his day off Friday restoring a classic guy in his driveway. “He’s in rough shape right now, but I hope to get him back in action by the end of the summer,” said Ravenswood to a neighbor who came over to admire the classic 1962 guy raised on cinder blocks in his driveway, wiping a goopy black substance off of his hands onto a pentagram-inscribed rag. “The bones are good, I just need to clean out the pipes and get a few replacement limbs. Luckily, he still has most of his original parts, even if they are pretty grimy. It’s going to take a lot of alchemy, and it’s not cheap, but it’s my passion. Today’s guys just don’t have that same ’60s style. You’ll have to come by once he’s up and running—we can take him for a cruise out on the town.” At press time, Ravenswood’s wife had brought out some lemonade to refresh his throat from all the incantations.
Jesus Christ is King
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