Youth Pastor’s ‘Imploding The Submersible Of Sin In Your Life’ Sermon Deemed ‘Tasteless’, ‘Too Soon’

DES MOINES, IA — A sermon by local youth pastor Rob Lambert entitled “Imploding The Submersible of Sin In Your life” was panned by congregants for being way, way too soon.

“That is just awful. Awful, man,” said elder Mack Bridges. “It’s not even a good metaphor.”

According to church members, the sermon started with innocuous statements about the seriousness of sin, but quickly turned south. “Then, Rob said that we have to bury our sin deep, like under 12,000 feet of ocean,” said congregant Amy Smith. “Still, I thought – no way he’s really going there. Oh, he went there.”

Sources report that Youth Pastor Rob was very pleased with how the sermon went and thought he “totally crushed it”. “Several people were just so overcome with emotion, they stood up and walked out. Powerful stuff, bro,” said Pastor Rob. “It seemed to especially hit home for a couple of my youth group kids who have dads are in the Navy. They were drenched in tears.”

At publishing time, Youth Pastor Rob had announced his next sermon would be entitled “If God Was A Chinese Balloon Spying On Your Heart, What Would He See?”.

Nothing weird, just a bunch of bros hanging out drinking Bud Light and talking about their feelings. Just chilling. Not gay.

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Babylon Bee