EVERETT, WA—Reassuring investors and the general public following the widely reported implosion that took the lives of five passengers last week, OceanGate announced Monday that the debris of its Titan submersible was still safe to ride in. “We’re proud to introduce yet another revolution in the design of deep-sea vessels: a twisted mass of carbon fiber ready to take our customers on a one-in-a-lifetime adventure,” said company spokesperson Steven Orchard, who explained that OceanGate had again refused to submit the Titan to any safety certification process, not wanting its latest underwater-vehicle innovation to be stifled by regulations. “Our submersible made it down to 13,000 feet, which is what it was built to do. The only difference now is that customers are responsible for their own transportation to the debris field. Tickets to ride on the broken chunks and shards of the vessel are still $250,000.” At press time, reports confirmed several billionaires had already signed up for the voyage.
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