ATLANTA—In a renewed effort to crack down on fraud, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) reportedly signed a new law Thursday cutting welfare benefits for recipients who were caught experiencing happiness. “If even the slightest gleam of anything but abject misery is detected in their eye, all benefits will be cut immediately, including SNAP, housing vouchers, and Medicaid,” said Kemp, who declared that the state’s welfare recipients would be required to have their serotonin levels continuously monitored so as to ensure they did not rise above the maximum legal threshold. “For far too long, we’ve watched low-income Georgians abuse the system by laughing, enjoying gatherings with friends and family members, and, in the most egregious cases, experiencing love. From now on, receiving aid will be contingent upon meeting with agency officials to confirm that you are sad. We don’t think suffering is too much to ask.” At press time, the state had filed a lawsuit against a WIC recipient after her baby made his first smile.
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