Couple At Restaurant Obviously On First Breakup

ROSEVILLE, MN—Noting the awkward interaction that was playing out in front of them, sources told reporters Friday that a couple at a restaurant was obviously on their first breakup. “You can tell from the way they’re fidgeting while talking that they’re ending things for the first time,” said fellow diner Grace Panella, adding that the way one of them kept awkwardly asking the same “Is there someone else?” question was a big tell that they were nervous and had never done this before “Neither of them really knows what to say, which tells me they’re not used to talking to each other about who’s going to have to find another place to live. Maybe by their third breakup, they’ll have figured out the rhythm of saying ‘It’s over’ in a more natural way before getting back together a week later.” At press time, witnesses told reporters that the passionate way they were screaming at each other as they left the restaurant was a promising sign that they could be together on and off for the rest of their lives.