TALLAHASSEE, FL — Florida Governor and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis has passed a law that will award citizens $10,000 for using the wrong pronouns on an individual. The law will take effect on the same day as Michigan’s new law that makes using wrong pronouns a felony with a fine of up to $10,000.
Funding for Florida’s Wrong Pronouns Reward Act will come from fining individuals $10,000 who have the “In This House We Believe” yard sign in their yard.
“Florida, like America, is a land of opportunity for anyone willing to stand up against woke political correctness,” said Governor DeSantis, “And as President, I vow to grow the middle class through the strategic utilization of rewarding wrong pronoun usage for every state.”
The new law already seems to be making a difference in the lives of everyday Floridians. One Florida man has earned $3.2 million in a 15-minute stretch by blurting out wrong pronouns while riding his bike through the Gender Studies wing of a local community college.
The law is not without its share of wrinkles. Scratch that. Experts confirm it’s actually a perfect law.
At publishing time, Governor DeSantis had also outlawed bringing anyone under the age of 18 into Target.
Nothing weird, just a bunch of bros hanging out drinking Bud Light and talking about their feelings. Just chilling. Not gay.
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