BURBANK, CA—Announcing that its upcoming movies were unlikely to provide viewers with many surprises, DC Studios encouraged the nation Wednesday to simply imagine its next slate of films instead. “You pretty much get it—they’re going to punch and kick and shoot lasers and all that stuff,” said DC Studios co-chairman James Gunn, acknowledging that any sort of basic plot or character development the U.S. populace could envision would be far better than what the filmmakers were capable of producing. “You can picture that on your own, right? There’s going to be one superhero based on a bug or something like that. Maybe there’ll be some sassy little talking creature who spits out dim one-liners. Probably Jared Leto will make an appearance. If you really want to be accurate with it, you can imagine the movie losing steam about halfway through and not really making any sense.” At press time, Gunn confirmed the imagery in the average American’s mind would be far more convincing than whatever flimsy, CGI-dominated visuals the studio ultimately settled on.
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