Federal Judge Blocks White House From Commenting ‘Good Morning, Beautiful’ On Instagram Models’ Posts

WASHINGTON—In response to a lawsuit alleging improper communication between the U.S. government and social media companies, a federal judge blocked the White House this week from continuing to comment “Good morning, beautiful” on Instagram models’ posts. “Following this ruling, the executive branch will no longer be allowed to communicate with girls on Instagram to tell them how beautiful and gorgeous they look this morning or to wish them good night,” said Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey, one of two Republican officials who filed the injunction after noticing government agencies like the Department of Health and Human Services and the FBI had commented on multiple posts by a wide range of popular Instagram booty models with only the tongue and eggplant emojis, and within mere seconds of the photos going live. “It is not the jurisdiction of these agencies to reach out to social media models in such a pathetic, thirsty manner. Telling influencer @thiccbabegina, for instance, that she is a ‘sexy beautiful princess to make men very happy baby [sic] :)’ in full view of the public is government overreach at its worst. And promising these women the world if they move to D.C. to become the ‘sexy wife’ of the Department of Homeland Security without prior congressional approval is blatantly unconstitutional.” At press time, an emergency hearing was called after President Joe Biden responded to the story of an Instagram model with only the word “would.”