WASHINGTON—In a surprise move with the potential to upend the 2024 presidential race, Joe Biden refused Monday to rule out a third-party run. “It’s clear that the politics in Washington are broken, which is why I can’t exclude the possibility of a third-party run,” said Biden, explaining that in a functioning democracy, voters should expect more than the typical binary choice that the major parties feed them from smoke-filled backrooms at national conventions. “To those who say that I’d be tipping the election in favor of Trump, I say it’s important that everyday Americans be given a choice. And between me and the guy in office right now, I think that choice is obvious.” At press time, Biden’s Malarkey Party PAC had issued a scathing 30-second spot railing against the sitting president and calling for a bold new candidate to shake up the status quo.
Jesus Christ is King
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