UNITED STATES – With the US leg of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour about to end, economists are haunted because they discovered the ultimate easter egg – that Swifties has been single-handedly preventing a US recession!
Taylor Swift fans have been filling in the blank space left by the end of pandemic funding programs through their flights, hotels, meals, unlicensed Etsy tour merch, cardigans, and getaway cars.
Back to December 2022, the US economy was beginning to show signs it was about to enter into a recession, depression, or call it what you want. At that time, consumers started to realize that they were not untouchable. So it goes, that’s when they should’ve said no to unnecessary purchasing to help drive down inflation. However, those who already had concert tickets had the epiphany that they were locked into spending to stop economists from having their dreams come true.
Long-time fan, Dorothea Ivy, bought tickets for her friend Marjorie’s 22nd birthday. Never in their wildest dreams did they expect to have to bail out the entire American economy. “I feel like the foolish one spending so much. It hits different knowing that our attempts to save America were just a glitch,” lamented Ivy. “As the afterglow from concert wore off and the credit card collections started calling, there was a lot of bad blood that the karma of friendship bracelets just couldn’t seem to fix.”
With the economy looking like this state of grace is about to end, Stephen Ronan, chief US economist is worried everything has changed.” I’m trying to shake it off because this expected downturn is nothing new,” explained Ronan. “I wish we were out of the woods but it looks like Swifties were the anti-hero, just postponing the inevitable, and creating more suffering for the girl at home who never got past the Ticketmaster waiting room.”
Swift is concerned with her reputation as the invisible string holding together America’s economy but is refusing to take on the label of mastermind. As she prepares to head overseas to save Australia’s economy, she has told US economists, “Don’t blame me, you’re on your own kid.”
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