Journalists Stop By Shelter To Inform Trafficked Children They Are A QAnon Conspiracy

U.S. — Victims of child sex trafficking are reportedly disheartened by the extra attention they’ve been getting since the theatrical release of Sound of Freedom. Sources say the film has prompted visits by members of the nation’s media who, instead of showing support, inform them they are merely unhinged QAnon conspiracies.

“Rest easy, little girl,” reporter Richard James explained to 7-year-old Maria Gomez. “You don’t even exist.”

The children, who actually do exist, have thus far failed to correct the now-popular narrative that they exist solely as imagined nightmares floating in a sea of deranged MAGA minds. “I don’t understand! We’re here! We’re literally slaves!” said one child before her microphone was cut off to protect the public from believing dangerous conspiracy theories.

“We’re going to expose these QAnon followers who keep pretending child sex trafficking is a very real and prevalent problem,” reported CNN anchor Anderson Cooper. “Those monsters.”

To date, no one has been able to explain where the traumatized children filling up shelters keep coming from.

General Florg of the planet Graxon V has visited Earth – but he’s having trouble understanding humans as he’s never encountered a species with so many genders.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King