Harry Styles, Thousands Of Fans Sit Down With Counselor For Parasocial Relationship Therapy

LOS ANGELES—Sitting across from the licensed professional counselor in her office, Harry Styles and thousands of his fans reportedly attended another parasocial relationship therapy session Thursday. “Harry, how does it make you feel when you read a comment stating ‘I would die without you’ on your posts?” said therapist Donna Steinmetz, who gazed curiously at Styles over the frames of her eyeglasses as the artist aired his frustrations, at one point reminding him to keep his tone respectful and asking fans to wait their turn after Styles stood up and shouted, “I didn’t write ‘Watermelon Sugar’ about you!” “Okay, Harry, I think we’ve heard enough from you for the time being. I think it’s time we give the stans a chance to talk. Now in our last session when I asked you to open up, you all simply screamed, ‘God, Harry, you’re perfect’ and ‘Larry confirmed’ until the hour was up, but is there anything else you’d like to add?” According to reports, Styles’ fans then accused Steinmetz of using the singer for fun and attacked her for being secretly in love with him.