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Financial Problems Force Ron DeSantis Campaign To Fire Wife

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TALLAHASSEE, FL—Faced with declining contributions as the Florida Republican competes to win his party’s nomination for the White House, Gov. Ron DeSantis’ presidential campaign announced Monday that financial problems had forced it to fire his wife, former television host Casey DeSantis. “In order to remain competitive as we prepare for next year’s primaries, we had to make some tough decisions, and unfortunately Mrs. DeSantis will no longer be a part of our team,” said campaign manager Generra Peck, explaining that, ultimately, her job was to get Ron DeSantis to the finish line, and Casey DeSantis was an unnecessary luxury. “We’re in a period of tightening our belts, so all her responsibilities of being a supportive spouse who champions her husband will be divided among the remaining campaign staffers. Once the financial situation improves, we could possibly hire her back as a part-time spousal contractor to pose for photos as DeSantis’ wife every now and then, but right now her role is not economically feasible.” Peck added that the campaign was already looking to replace DeSantis’ children with cheaper migrant labor.

The Onion

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