Lionel Messi Admits He Didn’t Even Know Where America Was Before Signing To Play There

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL—Stressing that he was eager to learn more about his soon-to-be new home country, Argentinian soccer star Lionel Messi admitted to reporters Monday that he didn’t even know where America was when he signed to play there. “When I first heard about the deal, I couldn’t tell you what the U.S. was, where it was on a map, or even tell you what language they spoke,” said Messi, who added that now that he was signed to a multi-year deal with the Inter Miami CF, he was looking forward to moving across the world and familiarizing himself with the U.S. populace, their culture, and their food. “When my agent brought up the idea, the first thing I did was google ‘where is U.S.’ and read through their Wikipedia. It’s not a country that I ever imagined myself playing in, but at least they pay well.” At press time, Messi had immediately pulled out of the deal after realizing he had mixed up North and South America.