KNOXVILLE, TN — Members of Knoxville Community Church were shocked as they suddenly realized that the number of people in their worship band officially exceeded the number in the actual congregation.
The realization came during last Sunday’s service when Pastor Jonathan turned around to address the congregation, only to find that he had to squint through the sea of musicians just to make eye contact with the handful of people in the pews.
What started as a small group of enthusiastic musicians eager to worship has now snowballed into a full-fledged mega-church, complete with a state-of-the-art sound system, cable system, dazzling stage lights, and pyrotechnics.
Churchgoers couldn’t help but laugh as they glanced around and counted the sheer number of people behind the microphones, guitar stands, and drum kits. “We used to have just a guitarist and a pianist,” said longtime member Margaret Smithson. “Now we’ve got a violinist, a flutist, a trombonist, a bagpiper, and even a kazoo ensemble.”
“I thought I was preaching to a packed house,” said Pastor Jonathan. “But the moment I signaled for the worship band to quietly make for the stage, almost the entire congregation stood up. It was like I had just dismissed service.”
At publishing time, to accommodate the growing worship team size Pastor Jonathan was forced to remove all but the last 2 rows of pews to make room for the stage expansion.
General Florg of the planet Graxon V has visited Earth – but he’s having trouble understanding humans as he’s never encountered a species with so many genders.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee
Comments are closed.