FCC Finds 87% Of Unknown-Number Calls From Record Company Executive Who Heard Your Demo

WASHINGTON—Responding to complaints of widespread telephone scammers, the Federal Communications Commission issued a statement Tuesday that claimed 87% of unknown-number calls come from a record company executive who heard your demo. “Although they’re dismissed as spam by many Americans, the source of most of these calls is a high-level record executive who digs your sound,” said FCC chair Jessica Rosenworcel, warning that ignoring these calls likely means missing out on a life-changing deal that would propel the person who picked up the phone to international superstardom. “While we take your complaints of nonstop, borderline harassing phone calls extremely seriously, our investigation concluded that only a small percentage of ‘spam likely’ calls are actually spam. The large majority are personal outreach from people like Rick Rubin, Jay-Z, or Jimmy Iovine who found your sad-looking tape under a pile of mail on their desks, popped it in, and slowly sat upright in their chairs until they found themselves dancing around their office. The intention of these calls is not to trick you out of your money, but rather to let you know that you’ve got what it takes—and that the higher-ups at Warner Music Group want to be in business with you. However, the train’s leaving the station and moving on to the next big thing the second you let these go to voicemail.” At press time, Rosenworcel had reportedly resigned after getting a 202 area code call alerting her of her big break.