FITCHBURG, MA—Pointing out the shocking contradiction they had been presented with, sources reported Tuesday that the guy over there with the really huge head wasn’t even smart. “You’d think a dome that big would be filled with a ton of brains, but nope,” 34-year-old Massachusetts resident Caleb Palmer told reporters, explaining that while one might assume a person with such a large head would be “some kind of poindexter” with an IQ of 250, the individual in question was, instead, “a complete fucking moron.” “It don’t make any sense. What’s taking up all that space in there? Skull like a beach ball, but he ain’t on his way to a Mensa meeting, if you know what I mean.” At press time, sources reported they were relieved to have encountered a guy with a tiny noggin who was every bit as dumb as the size of his head suggested.
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