It’s the box office battle that has already launched a thousand memes: Barbie v. Oppenheimer v. Paul Gross’ 15 year old First World War melodrama Passchendaele. But how do you know which one to see first? Well just answer a few questions and we’ll be able to tell you with certainty which movie is up your alley.
Quiz: Should you see Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
Fine. Watch Barbie.
You’re ready for a good time with the girls and the fellas. But before you go get beached off just remember: if you were a real Canadian you wouldn’t be flocking to see some fancy Hollywood movie that happens to star two Canadians, you’d be watching a made-in-Canada movie where a guy runs into a German trench for no reason and is then blown up but survives and does not appear to learn any kind of lesson.
Quiz: Should you see Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
Fine. Watch Oppenheimer.
Go ahead and see a movie critics are already calling Nolan’s best work. Enjoy the world-class cinematography, unbelievable acting and surprisingly audible dialogue. Just remember: for what we assume is only 2.99 on Apple TV you could enjoy a night at home with Canadian sweetheart Paul Gross as he strains to work in enough ‘Canada became a nation during this war’ platitudes to please the funding agencies while telling a story that really didn’t have anything to do with that.
Quiz: Should you see Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
You should watch Slings & Arrows
We like Paul Gross too but despite the answers you gave we just can’t recommend you watch Passchendaele. It’s just very not good. So why not enjoy a fun farcical comedy about the behind the scenes goings on of a Stratford-esque theatre company. Paul Gross is way more charming in it and he doesn’t even stab a man in the face. Mark McKinney is in it too! And Rachel McAdams. She seems nice.
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