Man Clearly Fishing For Doctor To Tell Him Mother’s Death Was Painless

PORTLAND, OR—Noting that the bereaved man kept mentioning that the process looked “pretty peaceful” to him, sources confirmed Monday that 56-year-old Greg Miller was clearly fishing for a doctor to tell him that his mother’s death was painless. “You’re the expert here, so would you say her passing was, uh…smooth sailing for the most part?” said the middle-aged electrician, who rushed to clarify to the physician that given his mother’s age and declining health, there appeared to be very little suffering, at least from what he could see. “I know she required quite a bit of sedation toward the end there, so in a way, it’s almost as if she died in her sleep, right? Or at least, when you consider how painful death can be in some cases, her discomfort must have been solidly below average. Wouldn’t you agree? I mean, it did seem, all things considered, fairly trouble-free.” At press time, the doctor had reportedly agreed that, yes, this was likely the best-case scenario for an elderly woman who had accidentally fallen into a trash compactor.