OVERLAND PARK, KS—Noting that things were clearly different back when her grandmother was growing up, local granddaughter Jessica Thomas told reporters Tuesday that all of the 83-year-old’s relationship advice seemed to be predicated on getting married at 15. “She was obviously trying to help, but so much of what she told me was about how exciting it would be when I finally moved out of my parents’ house and in with my husband,” said Thomas, who added that she wasn’t entirely sure how to use the tips a woman born in 1940 had given her about “being brave” and “not crying that you want to go home too much.” “While some of it was useful, she just kept saying that once I got married I should drop out of school and focus on the marriage. Also, she told me that a 20-year age gap wasn’t that bad, because even when she was a teenager, she was still more mature than my grandpa.” At press time, a wincing Thomas added that all her grandmother’s pregnancy advice was about having kids when she was 17.
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