“God, it was awful. The woke cherry on top of a brutally woke day. First, I sat in traffic behind a woke electric car. Then, I had to go to my woke corporate job, had a woke Panera Bread sandwich for lunch, sat in woke traffic on the way to the theater, met up with my woke friends Mark and Caden, had a woke Bud Light and then a woke Coors Light, bought a woke ticket from the woke ticket seller, got some woke popcorn that of course the woke popcorn guy slathered woke butter all over, sat in an aisle seat—which is the most woke seat in the movie theater by far—and had to sit through this woke garbage being thrust in my face. After that, I went home, ate a woke Hot Pocket—the freezer-treat brand that has gone the most woke of all the freezer-treat brands, which is why I won’t buy another Hot Pocket after this one and probably some more ones—and went to sleep. Worst day of my life.”
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